So f***ing pissed!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHH im just soo frustrated right now..with everything in life, with studies, money issues and PIANO...god save me please honestly im soo effing pissed..im going nuts..
yes my life sucks..well see the thing is that people dont see what is going on..they just see whats happening on the outside cause i just dont say anything at all and keep everything to myself..god that sounded soo emo..AND NO I DONT CUT MYSELF! right so yes ahhh im just soo frustrated and i dont know what to do!..cant you see that im choking and i cant even move. when there's nothing left to say, what can you do. im heavily broken..and there's nothing i can do..about it at all..
i've been stuck with this ever since the age of 3 and a half and the thing is that i've never enjoyed a single bit of playing the piano..really like i have no joy at all when i play it or do anything associated with it..really..accept when i play veronicas songs and sing along to it but thats different you see.because its a whole different story..everytime i go for my piano lessons i get soo freaking stressed up because im just soo pressurized by my teacher its killing me..she's insane i tell you i swear she's f***ing crazy..like some pyschopath or something..and i dont practice at all cause i just cannot be bothered and natrually i get scolded but who cares cause i just totally give up..you never know what she wants so there's no use trying..sometimes she's soo erratic she says this and then the next week she goes oh no this is wrong do this insteaed and if you cannot get it, she scolds you like crazy for not being able to do something you just got..i mean like seriously im not like some piano genius or somtehing you know im just a normal student, one that actually hates playing the piano.its such a waste of time money and effort..i can do so many other better things like sleeping..notice how i classify it as being more important then piano..well i love sleeping so urm yeah whatever haha..urm yes i mean i suck at it and yet i dont know why i still have to continue..really you should hear me i sound like crap honestly like SHIT haha..so yes i've deviced a wonderful plan to try to stop playing piano ahaha whoot i really hope it works haha..well see the thing is im going to be sooo bad that you know im just gaonna fail every exam that i take on purpose..and not practice at all from now on and just get scolded every week until she calls my mum and complains about me..im just gonna stop trying to prove that i really suck..actualy no that might not work..im still gonna practice but im going to SUCK at it so im gonna play like shit so that i am percieved to be bad which is a good thing then they will see that i really suck cause no matter how hard i try i just cannot get the rhythm and the notes..so yes i really hope it works and i'll fail all my exams and just suck..that way my parents would be able to see that i really suck which is a good thing..whoot haha im soo happy now (:
and yes seriously people i derno how many times i've got to tell you im not f***ing rich..im just alright..everywhere i go people think im this f***ing rich person..seriously im NO where near there at all..im just alright..ok if im rich why do i only bring $4 to school everyday?hello its only $4 thats really little you know..i ask you why i have to bring so little?because i have not enough money thats why i have to save up so much because my mum does not have enough money to provide for my every need hence the reason why i need to provide it myself..honestly im not rich at all..really..so stop saying that i am because it pisses me off..all those things that i have, i save up to get them..i dont just go asking money from my parents and i'll get whatever i want?no that does not happen at all because i dont get whatever i want at all..wait maybe not me, maybe my other brother..but im not complaining because its still evident that they love him more and ive already resigned to that fate and i dont care anymore..but yes who cares if i dont get whatever i want..you cant have it and so im satisfied..but it just pisses me off that people say stuff about me that isnt true at all..and mind you im referring to everyone including my friends cause its just annoying..let me make this clear once and for all..i am really not rich at all and if you still wanna go around annoucing it then just f*** off alright cause im just going to ignore you and not talk to you because you're just full of shit..
yes my life sucks..well see the thing is that people dont see what is going on..they just see whats happening on the outside cause i just dont say anything at all and keep everything to myself..god that sounded soo emo..AND NO I DONT CUT MYSELF! right so yes ahhh im just soo frustrated and i dont know what to do!..cant you see that im choking and i cant even move. when there's nothing left to say, what can you do. im heavily broken..and there's nothing i can do..about it at all..
i've been stuck with this ever since the age of 3 and a half and the thing is that i've never enjoyed a single bit of playing the piano..really like i have no joy at all when i play it or do anything associated with it..really..accept when i play veronicas songs and sing along to it but thats different you see.because its a whole different story..everytime i go for my piano lessons i get soo freaking stressed up because im just soo pressurized by my teacher its killing me..she's insane i tell you i swear she's f***ing crazy..like some pyschopath or something..and i dont practice at all cause i just cannot be bothered and natrually i get scolded but who cares cause i just totally give up..you never know what she wants so there's no use trying..sometimes she's soo erratic she says this and then the next week she goes oh no this is wrong do this insteaed and if you cannot get it, she scolds you like crazy for not being able to do something you just got..i mean like seriously im not like some piano genius or somtehing you know im just a normal student, one that actually hates playing the piano.its such a waste of time money and effort..i can do so many other better things like sleeping..notice how i classify it as being more important then piano..well i love sleeping so urm yeah whatever haha..urm yes i mean i suck at it and yet i dont know why i still have to continue..really you should hear me i sound like crap honestly like SHIT haha..so yes i've deviced a wonderful plan to try to stop playing piano ahaha whoot i really hope it works haha..well see the thing is im going to be sooo bad that you know im just gaonna fail every exam that i take on purpose..and not practice at all from now on and just get scolded every week until she calls my mum and complains about me..im just gonna stop trying to prove that i really suck..actualy no that might not work..im still gonna practice but im going to SUCK at it so im gonna play like shit so that i am percieved to be bad which is a good thing then they will see that i really suck cause no matter how hard i try i just cannot get the rhythm and the notes..so yes i really hope it works and i'll fail all my exams and just suck..that way my parents would be able to see that i really suck which is a good thing..whoot haha im soo happy now (:
and yes seriously people i derno how many times i've got to tell you im not f***ing rich..im just alright..everywhere i go people think im this f***ing rich person..seriously im NO where near there at all..im just alright..ok if im rich why do i only bring $4 to school everyday?hello its only $4 thats really little you know..i ask you why i have to bring so little?because i have not enough money thats why i have to save up so much because my mum does not have enough money to provide for my every need hence the reason why i need to provide it myself..honestly im not rich at all..really..so stop saying that i am because it pisses me off..all those things that i have, i save up to get them..i dont just go asking money from my parents and i'll get whatever i want?no that does not happen at all because i dont get whatever i want at all..wait maybe not me, maybe my other brother..but im not complaining because its still evident that they love him more and ive already resigned to that fate and i dont care anymore..but yes who cares if i dont get whatever i want..you cant have it and so im satisfied..but it just pisses me off that people say stuff about me that isnt true at all..and mind you im referring to everyone including my friends cause its just annoying..let me make this clear once and for all..i am really not rich at all and if you still wanna go around annoucing it then just f*** off alright cause im just going to ignore you and not talk to you because you're just full of shit..
posted by Ryess at 8:34 PM
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